


Does that make me crazy?

by bunniewabbit



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Canon, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-13
Updated: 2011-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunniewabbit/pseuds/bunniewabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admitting that you're crazy turns out to be the hardest part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does that make me crazy?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [hermette](http://hermette.livejournal.com/)'s [Multi-fandom fluff meme.](http://hermette.livejournal.com/328163.html)

They've never been ones to stand on formalities, but when Spencer walks into Brendon's house -- no phone call, no knock, no announcement whatsoever -- Brendon can only sit and blink up at him, PS3 controller forgotten in his hand.

"Dude, six weeks on tour together, and you can't live without me for even 48 hours?" Brendon says, incredulous. Not that he's sorry to see Spencer, because, truth be told, it's been all he could do to keep the number of texts he was sending Spencer to, like, a couple an hour.

Spencer shifts from foot to foot, and then perches awkwardly on the sofa next to Brendon, accepting the second controller Brendon offers without looking at it. "You know, the thing is..." Spencer starts, not meeting Brendon's eyes, and Brendon is starting to worry. This would be a weird way and a weird time for Spencer to suddenly announce that he's leaving the band, right? But, stranger things have happened, and Brendon's clutching the controller so tightly that his hand is starting to sweat against the plastic. "The thing is that, starting about halfway through tour I started thinking, like, you know... There was something that I kept feeling like we should do. But the time never seemed quite right, and it was tour, which... you know. And now, we're done touring and I was sitting in my house alone, feeling like shit, and, like, well... like, maybe this is the right time."

Well, fuck. Brendon's insides have folded over on themselves and he can't get a proper breath. This is it: Brendon is finally going to be all alone. First, Ryan and Jon, and now, Spencer. Brendon's stomach is threatening to empty itself all over his bare feet. "Spencer..." he whispers, but can't manage anything beyond that.

Spencer looks up, finally, meeting Brendon's gaze, and Brendon stops breathing altogether, because Spencer's eyes are shining and dark, crystal-blue irises sharp around the black of his pupils, his expression simultaneously determined and uncertain. "I feel like I've gone fucking crazy, Brendon. Just... tell me if I'm alone in this, or if you're as crazy as I am." And, just like that, Spencer is kissing him. 

Brendon goes still with shock, but he's not stupid, and even though he'd given up on this ever happening, it doesn't mean that the feelings -- the stupid, inappropriate feelings for Spencer that he's been harboring and hiding for years -- ever truly went away. So, yeah, he leans in, his game controller clacking into Spencer's, and he kisses back like his life depends on it, mouth open and tongue seeking. Spencer makes a surprised, relieved, _needy_ sound, and something inside Brendon, something long sealed, just _snaps_ open. He drops his controller to the floor, pulls Spencer's out of his hands and does the same with it before half crawling into Spencer's lap and pressing him back against the sofa. Spencer's hands are everywhere, like he doesn't know what to do with them, but Brendon's fingers slide into Spencer's silky hair, anchoring both of them, and Spencer's hands settle on the small of his back.

Brendon breaks the kiss and folds Spencer into a hug, his arms wrapping around Spencer's neck. "I have been crazy for so long, Spence," he sighs.

"Oh, god, Brendon," Spencer breathes into Brendon's neck, his arms tightening around Brendon. "Fuck."

Brendon pulls back to look at Spencer's face -- smooth, now that the tension has drained away, and slightly flushed -- and grins. "One step at a time, bro," he says, and is rewarded with one of Spencer's toothy, sunlit smiles. So, Brendon does the obvious thing, and kisses him again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


End file.
